Writing about art

Howdy!

I just finished an article about the Bill Burns exhibit at the Saidye. Stealing (or since I wrote it, shouldn't it recycling?) the first line: "Bill Burns has taken the concept of a Natural History museum, turned it on its head, grafted a warped ideology stolen hook, line and sinker from PETA, and shoved it all into something the Canadian Government is willing to call freakin' contemporary art." If I run out of things to write here, I might post the whole article.

I was disappointed in myself, as I really wanted to fit in or at least mention the Argentine lake duck. Don't ask me why, but on the National Geographic website they had this paragraph:

Researchers from the University of Alaska discovered that the penis of Argentine lake duck Oxyura vittata, when fully extended, measures about 17 inches long. When not in use, the corkscrew-shaped penis retracts into the duck's abdomen. - link

And it fascinated me. OK, the Argentine lake duck is a small animal, that's why I was looking it up, yeah, right. Plus, you should know that the Argentine lake duck itself is only 16 inches long. I wasn't able to get the mention in, which while being a tad disappointing probably made the article better. I gave up entirely on trying to mention Diane Nyland Proctor or the old TV series which I never saw called "The Trouble With Tracy." But learned tons about early Canadian sitcoms and how bad they were. If you want to know why, I thought that Mr. Burns could've used a Canadian Sally Struthers to do some sort of infomercial for his museum, and Diane Nyland Procter was the closest person I could find. Look for the article (without the useless pop culture and biology references) in the next issue of Motel Magazine, ok?

Now I gotta get back down to work and hang Philip's show, after all this is an Art Gallery, right?